Friday, May 05, 2006

Welcome Back, TigerMoth! - Thank You.

No excuses.
Must keep up with "Hipsterpit"
Jesus Christ, does she ever slow down?
She's damn funny, though isn't she?
Time to share my college poetry.
Engineering students shouldn't write...



Muscle boots and modern action
freedom
feels black and coarse
like the moon upon the sand
Splintered bone
knows about power
the forms of speeches
echo watery sentiment
Piss on your mind
meaningless sorrow
to live is to drive
leisurely at a firm pace
Don't kill your son
kill your brother
and sister instead
Power to the people
and water as well
Drink from a cyanide fountain
and soak up a brass bullet
no amount of your heaven
will change this

Next post, nude photos of Trotsky and Lenin on summer holiday in the Crimea...

Sunday, February 12, 2006

Just back from a miserable plane ride via Columbia. Important message to F.G. - as much as a leadership position in the F.A.R.C. sounds like something I could sink my teeth into, I'd better continue the struggle here stateside.

Do any of you little twerps have one of those MySpace deals? You can't fucking stay put in one area of the Inpornation Superhighway, can you? Rupert Murdoch throws you a doggie biscuit and you all just roll over. Poseurs.

Now on to Sunday letters. How was church, losers? Did you learn how God magically created the universe (or was that the space aliens?). First, "Jessie" (is that you Mr. Jackson?) claims that Tigermoth in fact reads plenty of Us Magazine. Only somewhat true, Jessie. If I could pry it out of my fiance's hands for more than one minute, I might. Would anyone watch the most beautifuly vapid people in the world on a flaming train wreck? I think so. By the way "Pitcrew", yes, yes, yes, but more importantly, do you think Brittany will be a good mother?

That's all for now, losers. On to a new contest. Whoever can name the headlining, ultra-boring, navel-gazing band for this year's Intonation Fest in Chicago will win a Tigermoth style prize. Now go take a long walk off a short pier, dumbasses.

Thursday, February 09, 2006

Do You Think Hugo Chavez Reads Us Magazine?

So, being down in South America has started to mellow me out a bit. No fucking I-Poops with their stupid looking ear plugs all over the place. Although they listen to a lot of bad heavy metal, which doesn't make me too happy. I was forced to get a cell phone for the first time and boy is it a pain in the posterior. I hung up on my fiance far more times than I could answer. Does anybody listen to good music anymore? I know I'm just pissing in the wind, but I can't seem to find one person who knows The Jam or maybe The Redskins or even possibly The Undertones. Why do you all listen to such navel-gazing horsecrap? Is it purposely designed to put me in a bad mood? You'd think with all this revolutionary activity going on around me, I would be in a better mood. America, kindly go to hell...

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

New Rantings Will Appear Shortly

Due to travels in South America to give some much needed moral support (and to stuff a big "swear finger" in Pat Robertson's face), the updates will be postponed briefly. Solidarity Brothers and Sisters...

Sunday, February 05, 2006

Weekly Fan Mail

So I've decided to designate Sunday for answering the weeks "fan mail". The letters keep pouring in, so I'll just randomly grab a couple of the more interesting ones. Sunday seems like an appropriate day because goodness knows, I'm not in fucking church.

Letter number one, from H.B. in Plano, Texas:
"Dear TigerMoth, are you really a socialist? My dad was a socialist and he worked for U of T studying the indiginous tribes of the Southwest - just thought you might have known him."

O.K., let's get a few things straight. It's SOCIALIST, not SOCIOLOGIST. As in egalitarianism and a society where true economic equality exists. I know it's a little hard for all you little punks to figure out, but lets try (as you so love to say) to "think outside your little box".

Next, from S.R. in Bangor, Maine:
"Do you really hate people so much? What's wrong with cool music and clever jokes containing subtle cultural references? For instance, I have a T-shirt with the phrase "Tchad is Rad" on the front and a outline of the country Tchad below it. I think it's pretty funny."

This is the kind of crap that makes me want to machine gun the universe. World poverty is at it's peak, the rich are on a power grab unequaled in human history and we're busy doing our best to kill as many brown people as possible in the name of "freedom", but you're too busy buying some stupid ass shirt. I know it's awfully "Uncle Joe" of me, but idiots like you need to hit the gulag for a litte re-education. Maybe a little hard labor would cure you of your consumerist nonsense.

Goddamn, let's get to letter #3 from K.P. in Sonoma, California:

"Congratulations on your upcoming wedding, I don't know how (s)he puts up with you..."

Sometimes I don't know either, K.P., all I know is that I'm a lucky, lucky person and (s)he's got more brains and guts than I could ever have. Love can be grand.

Allright everyone, get a real job and stop farting around with your life.

Friday, February 03, 2006

Goddammit!

What is this world coming to anyway? Religious nutcases are burning effigies of the Danes of all people, Christians (or hypo-christians as my friend Bruce calls them) are declaring the final times in the Middle East and Jews are all too prepared to practice ethnic cleansing in Palestine. And it's all your fault, you and your knit stocking cap with the North Face jacket and your way too tall latte. Too busy sucking off your parents teats to worry about anything but the next cool thing. Nothing seems important to you except mindless cultural drivel. Like blogs...or Lesbian mud wrestling...or maybe clever references to obscure music. Hey, you know what? Disco still sucks like it always did. I wish I lived in the 50's. I know it's terribly "grey flannel suit" of me, but at least people gave two shits about decent and humane ideas. Like maybe organized labor, or how capitalism might not be the most humane way of dealing with our political life. Get bent. P.S. To R. - You wanna tussle, then bring it on!

Sunday, January 29, 2006

The Old Man and His Cane

I hate all of this postmodernist nonsense. If I see another faux-hawk wearing, ironic t-shirt displaying, wanna be 80's musician adoring twenty something imbicile in this country I'm going to machine gun the universe. Other than that, I like music and think model airplanes are kinda cool. Oh yeah, I'm a socialist whose getting married in 8 months. Now go piss up a rope.